


I Heard You Like Pick-Up Lines

by sodenoshirayuki_23



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Hatano is a cutie, Jitsui is a hotie, Kaminaga is a fucking meme, M/M, Miyoshi is a little shit, Traumatized Sakuma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-28 06:03:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7627909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodenoshirayuki_23/pseuds/sodenoshirayuki_23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hatano finally learns something from Kaminaga.</p><p>Or an awkward au where Hatano and Jitsui are left alone in the dorm, that Hatano actually tried to pull off the things Kaminaga told him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Heard You Like Pick-Up Lines

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short fic before I get buried on my school stuff. Attend my funeral. *cries*
> 
> Sorta unbeta-ed so I apologize for grammatical and typographical errors!
> 
> Enjoy!

"Soooo..." Hatano cursed inwardly at how awkward he just made that 'o'  sound too long for Jitsui to be amused of. He steals a glance at the slightly taller boy who seems to still be busy reading a book; only to see him still engrossed in said activity.

 

The shorter man proceeds to rock his chair back and forth to hide the embarassment of getting ignored and of the next thing he'll do.

 

 

"I heard you like pick-up lines?" Hatano starts, bracing himself to execute the list of ones he learned from Kaminaga.

 

 

 

"I don't." Was Jitsui's reply.

 

 

"Pick-up lines--"

 

 

 

"Yeah, no. Not really."

 

 

_Holy shit._

 

 

"Jitsui, I'm straight--"

 

"Congratulations." Jitsui replies in a noncalant tone and Hatano didn't miss how disinterested the former sounded. Not to mention Jitsui didn't even avert his gaze from the book he's reading to look at him.

 

He gulps before he continues, "--I'm straight but I'm turning gay for you."

 

"Oh?" Hatano almost had his own eyes widened if he didn't know how to control his reaction, the moment Jitsui actually turned to stare at him.

 

"Congratulations." Jitsui repeats without showing any emotion of the word. Saying so with no hint or resemblance of the appropriate reaction when greeting someone with 'congratulations'. Instead going back to what he was doing earlier. 

 

 

_I should have expected this. I'll try again. What was that line--_

 

"I'm lost--"

 

"Aren't you always?" Jitsui speaks up again, not letting him finish.

 

"...So can I have directions to your heart..." Hatano's voice dies out. He lets a moment of silence last before he clears his throat.

 

"I'm looking for treasure. Can I look around your chest?"

 

"I suppose you know Lt. Colonel Yuuki forbid us to keep around some random chest box that is totally unnecessary?"

 

"That's not what I'm--"

 

"I know."

 

 

Silence. 

 

 

Hatano is beyond dumbfounded though he doesn't say so. 

 

_Dammit, Let me fucking try again._

 

"Don't you ever realize screw rhymes with me and you?"

 

"Hmm," Jitsui pauses, "It does rhyme with you."

 

_Shots fired, Hatano. Good fucking job. Actually, fuck you Kaminaga. You and your damned pick-up lines. You are a fucking useless guy. You call yourself a playboy? You fucking failure. If what I'll do next won't work--_

It was too late to react and defend himself when Jitsui suddenly stands up to immediately rush at him. The force the raven-haired used to send him stumbling to his bed made the fall quite not the romantic one. He hit his head on the wooden overboard of his bed. Hatano groans as he tries to fight back but Jitsui has him pinned down with his wrists secured with strong arms. His mental capacity and calculation deduced that he could somehow overturn the situation and at least send Jitsui meters away. Hatano, in fact, is the best fighter among them; hand-to-hand combat.

 

But he stopped when he saw Jitsui who's above him, smirking down at him. Hatano's plans to fight him died down the moment Jitsui licked his own lips.

 

He gulps.

 

_Fuck, he's hot._

 

"Because of your stupid pick-up lines, I think you will die old and miserable if you keep using them. Yet, my body is saying yes to fucking, I know yours is the same."

 

 _But he didn't even look interested to anything I say earlier--_ Yet Hatano realized that they were indeed trained to hide any reaction or unnecessary emotion on occasional times. 

 

 _Shit, he got me_. 

 

Hatano, sweating and feeling his own erection growing, tries to smirk back.

 

"You bet. There's a party in my pants and you're invited."

 

"My, my, Hatano- _san_. You look like you could really use a napkin."

 

"Huh?"

 

Jitsui's smirk widens as he begins to roam his hand from Hatano's hands, to his stomach and downwards. He chuckles when the latter gasps. Grabbing the throbbing erection, Jitsui grins at the shorter man's fail attempt to stifle his moan. 

 

"..Because you look so dirty right now."

 

"Hahahaha--ah!" Jitsui's hands are dangerously hovering over the still clothed sensitive part but Hatano is already feeling it

 

"Hmm, I got a coin here. If I flip it, what are the chances I'd get a head?" 

 

"Ah! Quit teasing me and just fuck me, you asshole!"

 

"So aggressive. I like that. I don't like getting ordered around, but very well."

 

Jitsui innocently smiles before leaning down and crashing his lips against Hatano's.

 

He went straight to licking and biting Hatano's lips, demanding absolute entry and the latter complies and lets him enter. Knowing he has authority over the shorter man made Jitsui smile more into the kiss as he desperately runs his tongue all over his mouth. Meanwhile sinfully roaming his hands all over Hatano's body, making him shiver at every touch.

 

 

As their tongues dance, breaths shared and teeths clenced, Jitsui suddenly pulls away. Leaving Hatano with a whine that made him chuckle at how needy the brown-haired sounded.

 

"So naughty," Jitsui pauses as he looks around the room, "I'll need a lot to satisfy the likes of needy ukes."

 

With that, he climbs off the bed to find a rope, a ducttape and a blindfold. Proceeding to lock the door before climbing above Hatano once again, straddling him.

 

Jitsui smiles once again, "Ready?"

 

 

Hatano never nodded so eagerly before.

 

Jitsui wished he recorded it.

 

••••

 

"Oh my god," Kaminaga whispers against the locked door, trying to stifle his laughter. "They're really doing it."

 

"I'm assuming you taught him wrong. But the result is this so it's alright, I guess."

 

Miyoshi smirks, turning his gaze to Sakuma, who looks beyond shocked.

 

"...Although someone here doesn't seem too alright."

 

Kaminaga hooks an arm to Sakuma's shoulder, "It's okay, man. We're all gay here. You can be gay with Miyoshi too."

 

Miyoshi glares at Kaminaga, making the latter laugh. 

 

"Oh, oh, wait. I have a better idea. How about a threesome between us three, yeah?"

 

 

And thus, Kaminaga had to drag an embarassed, blushing and stoned collapsed Sakuma away from the hallway because Miyoshi refused to help drag a fainted Lieutenant.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, there's a chair inside their room uvu;;
> 
> Jitsui and Hatano aren't really left alone lol. Kaminaga, Sakuma and Miyoshi "coincidentally" got back earlier from their usual night out.
> 
> Top!Jitsui is hot, don't touch me.
> 
> I can't write smut so I'll leave the rest up to you. Searched up some pick-up lines lol.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments are appreciated!


End file.
